How did I get here?
Rewind to 2015, a year after I had graduated from college and had just learned that I was unexpectedly expecting my first child. At the “ripe” age of twenty-three, I knew nothing of pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and certainly not motherhood.
During my first pregnancy, my partner and I watched every birth video you could find on YouTube, read the classic baby books, and made a very loose “birth plan.” At this point in my life, “doula”, “midwife",” “self-advocacy” and “birth empowerment” were not part of my vocabulary. None the wiser, we convinced ourselves we were as ready as any couple could be. We were completely unaware of what we were unprepared for, and like most individuals that experience pregnancy and birth, we entered postpartum with a “Why the f**k did nobody tell me about this?”
But for real… Why did no one talk to me about any of this beforehand?
Why does nobody talk about how HARD nursing a baby is or latching issues or cluster feeding? Why are we so afraid to talk about postpartum mood disorders? Or why is bladder incontinence and pelvic floor discomfort considered almost a rite of passage or “normal” after having a baby, when in other progressive parts of the world they are taken seriously with corrective care being administered almost immediately postpartum? Why are there a million prenatal appointments but only ONE postpartum? Most alarmingly, why does it feel like we are being dropped off at the curb as soon as the baby comes out? Why does nobody tell you that regardless of the fact you have a tiny new human constantly attached to you, you may feel lonelier than ever?
This whirlwind introduction into motherhood shifted the way I viewed birth, reproductive justice, and essentially my role in my community. But before I made the shift in focus to birthwork, I made another huge life transition and joined the military (I am currently retired). As a mother serving in the Navy, I experienced the gut-wrenching feeling of being separated from my family and moving across the country away from our support system. It was shortly after this that I began my journey into birthwork. A couple of years into my military service and making roots in the magical Pacific Northwest, we decided to try for a second baby--completely unknowing that we would experience this pregnancy and birth during a pandemic and social and civil unrest. This is a small fraction of a glimpse into my story as a mother, a woman of color, and birth giver. All of these life experiences have led me to where I am today and helped shape my story.
